


Falling Rain

by snarkyspirit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9239330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkyspirit/pseuds/snarkyspirit
Summary: Eren likes the rain with the constant drip drop and pitter patter falling to the ground. He doesn't know why, he just does. His friend says its because it reminds him of the ocean but Eren thinks it's because it reminds him of a person who he doesn't remember. The brunet wants to remember, he really does.





	

Pitter patter, pitter patter. The sound of rain falling onto the cement ground underneath them. Drip drop, drip drop. The rushing of the water pouring down from the sky above. If Eren were honest, he liked it this way, just sitting outside on the concrete floor, watching the rain fall down. It seemed to remind him of something, although he was never quite sure what. He sighed.

The brunet's friend, Armin, liked to say the reason why Eren likes the rain so much is because it reminds him of the ocean in some way or form. Eren counters with the question of why he likes the ocean so much anyways. His blonde friend would always smile wistfully and say that he doesn't know. Eren hates it. He hates that he doesn't know anything but the fact that theres this strange pulling on his heart whenever the rain falls or the pair go out to explore.

The boy isn't even sure why he wants to explore. It feels melancholic in a way and makes him long for something that he doesn't even know. He just follows the feeling and runs. If there is one thing he knows for sure, its that he's good at running. Running away from responsibilities, that aching sense of restraint, people that care about him. He's good at running away from all of them.

That probably would explain why he ran away from home during the middle of the night in the rain. Because he runs away from his friends and family, he doesn't want them to care. There is a sinking feeling in his gut, whenever they smile at him, like he's gonna dissapoint them suddenly.

Eren doesn't understand a lot of things, emotions being one of them.

All he knows is that humans like and dislike things. Humans run away from the unknown and fear change. They can do stupid reckless things for the people that they love. The brunet knows the last part as a fact. He would easily die if it meant protecting the people he cares about, and he admits it openly. Mikasa, Armin, his parents and his friends all worry about him because of this. They call him a 'suicidal bastard'.

It sounds like an insult, but it's strangely comforting. Eren doesn't know why. Its like the rain, he loves it but he just doesn't understand  _why_.

Sometimes Eren likes to go outside when its pouring and just lie on his back and face the sky. He likes the feeling of being drenched in the freezing rain until his body is numb and Mikasa worriedly comes out to get him. Maybe its because of the numbness, this way he can't really feel or think clearly. 

Sometimes Eren likes to draw pictures in the dirt of these gigantic monsters that he doesn't even know where they come from. Armin says he recalls seeing them before, but doesn't remember where. It makes Eren frustrated because that is exactly how he feels. 

At night, he gets dreams. In the dreams he is lying on the ground, facing the sky in the pouring rain. His vision is blurry but theres somebody next to him who's calling out and he tries to reach for them but he can't because they are so far away. 

So. Far. Away.

It hurts.

When he gets this dream, he wakes up crying but everything is fading to nothing within seconds. He tries to remember and harshly draws out the rough outline of the person in his dream's face, and only manages to get the mouth and chin. In the dream, the person is always screaming for him, and everytime Eren sees tears falling down their face. He wants to comfort them but he feels so weak.

The dreams hurt so painfully because they tease him of this separate world with people that he doesn't know but somehow does at the same time. One day though, they suddenly stop. Mikasa and Armin are happy because of the rough time the dreams have been giving Eren, but the brunet himself is unsure. The one thing he liked about the dream was that he felt a purpose and that aching memory that was lost was suddenly there. He is unsure whether to thank their end or to mourn it.

Maybe that's another reason he likes the rain. Maybe it's because of the dream he had. Maybe it's because he wants to acknowledge the thing he lost, when he couldn't otherwise. That has to be it, the other reasons don't make sense.

Another thing that bothers Eren is when people call him brat. He doesn't care what swearword or insult is thrown at him, unless it's brat. When someone calls him that, he suddenly becomes annoyed because it doesn't  _sound_ right. Not because he's insulted, but because when they say the word to him (or in general), it feels wrong like someone else is meant to say it. That's the thing Eren doesn't get, because he hasn't met anyone who has said it sounding right.

Thinking about these things brings Eren back into the present. He opens his eyes partly and through half-lidded eyes, and watches the water collect at his eyelashes and feel the soft beating of rain against his skin. It feels so melancholic and Eren feels numb again. That's when it happens.

That's when a figure walks out into his vision and Eren jolts up in surprise, because he  _knows him_ yet he  _doesn't_.

It hurts like it did in the dream.

Suddenly, his vision is blurred.

He feels a sharp twisting his chest and looks down to see a spear protruding. He's wearing strange clothese, a leather jacket and a green cloak and he sees that person scream for him. Eren can see his face in startling clarity and he smiles because what else can he do? He knows now. It feels surreal and he's just laughing and laughing because who would've thought.

Time seems to freeze. water droplets are frozen midair and the other isn't moving, but Eren can. He looks around and sees the gigantic monsters he's been drawing, looks down to his hand and sees a sword. Purely on instinct, he drops it and bites his hand. Then he grows. Grows so large and screeches at the top of his lungs. Screeches and screams.

He knocks down the other monsters. Titans. That's what they are. He knocks them all down and suddenly he's feeling so much rage and pain and is thinking 'destroy destroy destroy'. He feels the thirst for revenge and the longing to become a person who saves humanity (why humanity he later wonders), and then after they're all gone he falls to the knees inside this creature and it poofs. Eren looks down and sees the blood flowing from his chest.

He sees that his skin is ripped off, but it's stitching back together.

Time starts again. Eren is scared. He looks over to the figure with raven colored hair and freezes. The brunet meets the others eyes and he remembers. He remembers what he's wanted to remember for his entire life.

"Brat." The word sounded so right.

"Lev-" Eren doesn't get to finish. One titan he didn't see picks him up and Eren wildly slashes. He's getting closer and closer to the mouth and escape just in time. Using his 2-D manuever gear, he kills the titan but not before it swats him. Now Eren is falling but he doesn't mind. He got what he wanted, he knows what he was missing.

Eren doesn't mind when he realizes he's not healing. That he's dying. Corporal Levi does. Corporal Levi screams and curses and runs over to Eren telling him what a brat he was and telling him to 'fucking heal you moron'. Eren faintly tries, but its useless. He's almost gone. 

Levi is coming closer now. His arm is extended. Eren feebly raises his own to try and grasp it and chokes out words.

"I l-love... yo-ou." He barely whispers. Just as Levi is almost in his reach, he hears the words in reply.

"Don't die on me now brat, and if you do, I'm gonna give you living hell the next time we meet." Eren nods and almost laughs but chokes out blood instead. His arm is still extended but he can't feel it anymore. Eren's last sight is the tears on the lance corporal's face.

"Hey br-"

Darkness.

Darkness.

Darkness...

"-at? Brat, you still there?" Eren blinks rapidly and looks at the figure in front of him. He smiles, because now he remembers. This is Levi. He loves the rain because it's where they admitted their feelings and became a thing (albeit secretly). He hates when others call him brat because thats what Levi is supposed to say, and only Levi.

"Corporal." Eren glanced at the other's face and noted that not a single thing had changed. After a mini staring contest, Levi finally grinned.

"Don't forget my promise to give you living hell now." Despite the harsh words, there's a hand in front of him, offering to bring him back up. Eren stares and smiles. He smiles because this time he can take the hand. Its not warm, but its not cold. Its perfect and molds perfectly with his own. He stands up and Levi smiles at him, and pulls him. they are both still in the rain, but they're walking together this time. Walking in the park in the rain like when they truly fell in love.

Eren is happy for once in his life. He remembers. He won't ever run away again, this time.

 

\---

 

The pair stood over the dead body, soaked wet and pale. The black haired girl with the red scarf sobbed, cursing out the boy for foolishly running away in the freezing rain. The blonde haired boy wipes tears from his eyes and wishes that Eren was still with them. They stand over the body of their dear friend, wishing he had lived, but still cannot blame him completly.

"Look. Don't  be completly down, it's the first time he's truly smiled." The blonde one softly states. The dark haired girl nods, admitting its true. She herself gives a wistful smile. 

"It's like he's found what he's looking for."

They stare at the broken boy, with his broken down body and broken heart. The one thing thats not broken is the smile and face of bliss on the boy's face.

 


End file.
